A Christmas Return by Anne Perry

Author:Anne Perry
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2017-11-07T05:00:00+00:00

Peter kept his word, and he told Rowena in general terms what had transpired at their meeting with Durward. Mariah was not present. She was certain that Rowena would prefer her not to be. She used the time to study such papers as she had found relating to Durward, mostly scribbled notes Cullen had written to remind himself of points to consider. As before, the tone of them conveyed to her that Cullen had not personally liked Durward, but also that he had believed he’d discovered a defense. There was always the possibility that Durward was not guilty of Christina’s death. No one should be condemned because they were unpleasant. Wryly, Mariah conceded that she, of all people, could not afford that!

Mariah found herself smiling as she moved from one piece of paper to another. The words brought Cullen’s memory back to her as if twenty years had disappeared. She could hear his voice again, the unique timbre of it, his choice of words, so often with a hint of humor.

She herself had been ill-tempered, perhaps even as much as Durward, if less offensive. Her son’s wife, Caroline, had put up with her. Everyone had, except on occasion one of her granddaughters. Actually she liked that one, Charlotte, the best. People are rude for many reasons, most of them rooted in some kind of unhappiness. It is not an excuse, but there was no way now of going back and undoing it.

What was Durward’s reason? Hatred of a man he knew was better than he? Fear of losing something?

What had her reason been for her own ill temper, if she was honest? There was no need to ask twice. She despised herself for allowing her husband to use her as he had. She had been legally bound to him in a society that would not tolerate rebellion. She remembered him so clearly and could see his face again in her mind. But for the first time, she recognized that behind the cruelty was fear and self-hatred, a man who needed to inflict his inner pain outward. He hated himself, and Mariah even more, because he knew that she understood all his weakness. Now she also realized how he must have hated her because she was the one he had injured, and she was the reminder of all that he had become.

Mariah leaned forward over the desk and put her head in her hands, letting the tears come at last. And then she pulled herself together as a new thought struck her. Could it be something in himself that Durward hated?

If he had first raped and then killed Christina Abbott, then he had every reason to loathe himself, to fear the thing within him that had caused it. He lived in a nightmare. If it were simply his own nightmare, then she would have pitied him. But as it was, she fully intended to use it against him, if she could just think how.

Peter knocked on the door and came into the study the moment she answered.

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